What Hides Inside

https://www.etsy.com/listing/670588824/what-hides-inside-hand-painted-acrylic?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=What+Hides+Inside&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/670588824/what-hides-inside-hand-painted-acrylic?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=What+Hides+Inside&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

Spiraling deep into the dark
Blackness engulfs
My fractured past
Splinters
Shards of agony develop
Embellished foolishness cascades
Deceivingly, I smile
Hiding the tidal wave
That drowns
Covering the gnash of flesh
The raw wound that aches
I attempt to bury it
Hide it behind a wall
It reaches out to me
Like a lost soul
I close my eyes
Curl into a ball
And drown inside the deep

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The Outside / The Inside

The Outside

The Inside

somewhere i screwed up —

sometimes i cry because

i deserve this pain

the pain is so great

which means that  

but you wouldn’t understand

i shouldn’t complain

there’s no way to relate

 

i should ignore the emptiness

you see the outside me

pretend i’m not an empty shell

the one that stands bold

pretend that i’m happy

you don’t see the one that wants to die —

that i’m not my own internal hell

that has nothing left to hold

 

so i decided to write two poems

you see impractically,

maybe lift up my voice

thinking the world is yours

and maybe, just maybe,

i see realistically —

forgive myself my choice

begging to be tossed ashore

 

so, which poem will it be?

i know not what peace

which me do you care to meet?

life dreams of

how many versions of me

i just know there is no sweet release

do you care to see?

for me to speak of

 

too bad that no matter what

i’m dying in the ocean —

it turns out to be,

overtaken by pain

let me wish you good luck

i’m dying in myself

because you still won’t know me

and i can’t stop the rain

two faces
https://goo.gl/images/tg4w1F

Snow

angel
https://www.flickr.com/photos/13989429@N00/24017268495/

Drifts of snow dance
Merrily across the
Street
Sharply cutting a frozen path of
Pain
The world is covered in white
Disguised as an angel
Covertly plotting
My demise
My fall from grace
The abyss surrounds me
Fills me with anguish
Clouds my judgment
How can I move forward
When there is nowhere to go?
How can I live on
When life no longer holds
Meaning
Substance
Joy
I close my eyes
Imagine the snow falling
Around me
Covering me in a sheet
Of loneliness
I wish to be carried away
Into a forgotten
Snowbank
So that I may watch
The snow drift lazily
Through the
Street